But ,what about Dad ?
From the time family and friends, find out the woman is pregnant. All attention goes to the soon to be mommy.
But what about Dad?
During my pregnancy Tim suffered from what they call sympathy symptoms; fatigue, nausea and for some strange reason bigger cravings than me (the three of us enjoyed having Cinnabons every Sunday LOL!).
Tim went to every doctor's appointment, massage my swollen feet, help me roll out the bed during my many bathroom trips, rub my back during that rough first trimester and most importantly he was there to hold me when the doctor came and said they "couldn't find a heartbeat."
Yes, I carried Makensie inside my womb, but I didn't conceive Makensie alone. Tim and I went through this pregnancy together. However, no one asked Tim " how are you holding up ?" , "Are you having a rough day today ?". It was all about me, Makensie's mommy. When I was released from the hospital, I received pamphlets for counseling and medication to sleep at night.
But what about Dad?
What does he get after rocking his grieving wife to sleep after crying her eyes out?? Who's going to wipe his tears because he has to cry alone because he has to be strong in front of his family?
Seriously, what about Dad?
I think we sometimes forget how involved and attached the father is throughout the pregnancy. He makes sure mommy and his growing little one have eaten for the day. Making sure mommy and baby are getting around safely. Putting cribs together and installing car seats. Those are the gestures from a father expressing his excitement for his growing family. I can remember someone one day asking me " Is Tim sad ?" and I was glad it was through text because it was easier to stop replying then to say how I felt. What do you mean is he sad? Tim lost his child, just like I lost mine. He loves her just as much as I love her. So, yes Tim is just not sad, he is heartbroken.
I know society at times portray men to be irresponsible when it comes to parenting, but when do we give credit to a man who is a good person and father? I never compare my grieving to Tim's or come across as if he doesn't understand my pain because I know if anyone understands the pain I feel inside, it's him. The one who was there from day 1 and who is still here.
This journey has not been easy for either one of us, but with the kind of love Tim and I have for God and each other. I know we can climb any mountain and weather any storm.
"Love drives out fear " 1 John 4:18